Shock, Disbelief, Despair.
My gynecologist had given me the result of severe tests… ovarian cancer.
Within a week, extensive exploratory surgery told the awful truth. The cancer had already progressed to Stage IIIC, advanced disease. The odds for my survival were bleak.
Eight rounds of chemotherapy followed, taking their toll on my body and emotions. Discouragement, distress, and anxiety arrived and settled in for an extend stay.
I discovered a common experience shared with every cancer patient I talked with — at least one traumatic event had members plus highly stressful situations at my workplace left me reeling. Unearthing and dealing with the thoughts and emotions that accompanied these incidents became my top priority. What I found buried deep within was ugly — anger, resentment, depression and broken dreams. This happened nearly sixteen years ago. How did I cope and survive?
Along with adopting a healthier diet, I finally recognized that many of my thought patterns had been extremely negative, Through various books, seminars, and workshops, I learned that thoughts are powerful “things” which may adversely affect our health, but can be revised and controlled to improve wellbeing.
I certainly had a compelling incentive-life!
During the period of transforming my thoughts from harmful to healthy thinking, I began to stop and really feel how my body reacted when negative attitudes and emotions were present. My blood pressure rose, muscles automatically tightened, breathing became shallow — all normal responses from t he sympathetic nervous system preparing my body to battle any perceived predators. However, because I’d allowed myself to stay in this perpetual state of fight or flight, it had resulted in a great strain on my body.
The main culprit for me was lack of forgiveness. I had remained in that prison cell far too long. At last, I understood by continually replaying harmful events in my mind, rehearsing what I’d like to say to “tell them off,” and fantasizing about revenge, I’d actually handed over control of my life to those I had not forgiven.
I decided on a change of mind when I realized that not forgiving is like drinking poison — it only hurts the one who consumes it. True, a price still had to be paid by the offenders, however, it wasn’t my responsibility to enact judgment. God would take care of that.
Sometimes, modern medicine overlooks the prominent role our minds play in overall health. No prescription medication can change a destructive lifestyle or mindset. A brief look at the tragic lives of many singers, actors, and athletes shows that money and privilege can’t buy happiness or contentment. Focusing on things that are true, honorable, and positive goes a long way towards healing.
By God’s mercy, I overcame the grim survival predications for my type of cancer. Through prayer and a changed state of mind, I’m in great health and thriving. I’ve learned to forgive myself and others quickly so anger and resentment cannot pollute my mind and body.
Forgiveness started with an intentional decision of will, for my own health’s sake. A change of mind was the greatest gift I could ever give myself — it transformed my life.
