NAVIGATING CRITICISM IN THE DIGITAL AGE.
There is nothing special about getting a text message from a student on Teacher’s Day; it’s quite common for students to wish their teachers on social media these days. But this message, posted by an old student on my Facebook timeline, was different — the first of its kind. It was neither a greeting nor a ‘thank you” note. It was nothing but the ventilation of pent-up anger and a grouse held against me for over a decade.
Written in chaste Hindi, the message read that every year on Teacher’s Day, the girl remembered me. In her eyes, I was the culprit, her presumption being that it was because of me that she could not become a lecturer. She had to settle down in another career, though a decent government job, nevertheless not her dream occupation. The girl was bitter for not having been selected for the post of Economics lecturer in the college, which she believed she deserved. She felt that she was a victim of nepotism and somehow held me responsible for the supposed injustice meted out to her.
I could understand her disappointment but was stunned by this public accusation for something that I was not guilty of. Even if there had been any favoritism in the selection process, at least I was not ware of it. I was just a member, the junior-most, in the six-member interview board. But why did s he blame me? The only plausible explanation could be that she might have felt reassured to find me, her own teacher, in the selection committee and was upset on not having been selected. But then, it does happen. Rejected candidates normally tend to blame it on partiality.
Of course, I was taken aback by the allegation made on social media but wasn’t unduly disturbed. I was mature enough to take the criticism, though ill-founded, in my stride. Instead of holding anything against her, I felt sorry for the poor girl for carrying pain and resentment against me for all these years. I wrote a long note trying to assuage her feelings and wished her the best in life.
There was no response from the girl. However, a few others commented on the post. In reply to someone’s comment, I found yet another caustic remark from her: “Under certain circumstances, some teachers act like Dronacharya.” I don’t know what she had in mind; however, this time I chose not to react.
The episode was an eye-opener for me. I realized how vulnerable you are on social media. Anyone can post anything against you. People may criticize you unfairly and even abuse you on social media. To deal with criticism, it is always better to control you reaction and process and condemnation. If you wish to say sorry, you may, but apologize conservatively. However, you should never dwell on the criticism — be thick-skinned.
You must remember that comments, positive or negative on social media are likely to be exaggerated. There are times when you get compliments that you don’t deserve, and also it is quite possible you may draw flak for no reason. Well! If you embrace accolades with an open heart, you should be prepared for brickbats. The way to maintain your mental equilibrium is never to take compliments to your head and criticism to your heart. Another important lesson that I have learned from this episode is not to engage with hate mongers. The more you comment on a post, the more the chances are of a post getting viral on social media. The best way to cut the chain of negativity is ‘no comment.” — just ignore. ‘Silence is golden’; the golden rule to avoid altercations in the real world equally works in the virtual world.
