The innocent ears of our children are often the unintended recipients of news that can shake their sense of security. Whether it is a snippet on the evening news, hushed adult conversations or playground chatter; conflict can be deeply unsettling for young minds.
How we navigate these conversations shapes not only their immediate emotional well-being but also their developing understanding of a complex world. Here is how we can guide our children through the turbulent waters of war with empathy and reassurance:
KEEP IT SIMPLE & AGE-APPROPRIATE:
Forget the intricate political tapestries. Children need a narrative they can grasp. “Countries have big disagreements, and instead of talking them out, they fight. It makes things very difficult for the people there.” Avoid sensationalism or graphic details that can fuel anxiety. Focus on the core concept in language they understand.
REASSURE THEM OF THEIR SAFETY:
This is the bedrock of their emotional security. The immediate fear for a child is often proximity — could this happen to them? Repeatedly and calmly affirm their safety. “Our home is safe, our school is safe, and the adults around you are working hard to keep it that way.” This consistent reassurance acts an anchor in their sea of worry.
VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS:
It’s okay to feel. War is a heavy concept, and children may express their unease through a range of emotions — sadness, fear, confusion, even anger. Mock drills and the precautions we take in war-like situations further increase their anxiety. Giving them permission to feel creates a safe space for them to process these complex emotions.
LET THEIR QUESTIONS BE YOUR COMPASS:
Resist the urge to flood them with information. Over-explaining can be counterproductive and increase anxiety. Instead, allow their curiosity to guide the conversation. “Many countries in the world have some underlying tensions and ongoing conflicts arising from some historical reason. It could be for land, people, or religious beliefs. This causes tension across borders and from time to time it does erupt, hurting people.”
Wanted to know a bout the Ind-Pak crisis and Operation Sindoor in particular. There has been tension for almost 70 years because of the ownership of Kashmir and there are people who don’t know how to handle this by conversation and peace and that’s why they attack.
BE HONEST:
When there is a conflict, kids tend to ask who the good guy is and who is bad. They are used to black and white characters. Sometimes both sides can be right or both can be wrong. Moreover, if you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s acceptable to say, “That’s a good question. Let’s see if we can find out together.”
CULITVATE COMPASSION:
Even young children possess an innate sense of sympathy. Empower them by suggesting small, tangible acts of kindness. We can encourage them to send good thoughts and prayers to those affected, draw pictures of peace, or be extra kind to classmates. This shifts their focus from feeling helpless to feeling like they can contribute in a positive way.
HELP THEM FIND THEIR CALM:
When news feels overwhelming, guide them towards calming activities such as drawing, reading a comforting book or engaging in quiet mindfulness exercises.
PLANT SEEDS OF HOPE:
It is crucial to balance the reality of conflict with the message that peace is possible and that many individuals are working towards it.
TALK ABOUT PARIOTISM:
When there are situations like war or conflict, it is important to explain the concept of being loyal to one’s country. Tell your child that he/she and their friends come from different communities and religions, but it is everyone’s duty as citizens of India to support our country in times of crisis.
MODEL DESIRABLE BEHAVIOR:
Our children are keen observers of our emotional state. If we react to news with anxiety or anger, they will mirror those emotions. By remaining calm, empathetic and hopeful, we provide a powerful sense of security and resilience to our children. Also include gratitude and prayer into the child’s daily routine. This helps children down when they are feeling upset.
Talking about our war with our kids is undoubtedly challenging. It requires patience, honesty, and above all, a heart full of compassion. But by offering simple explanations, unwavering reassurance, and a safe space for their feelings, we can help them navigate these difficult realities with courage and empathy, nurturing their understanding of the world while safeguarding their precious sense of security. Our loving presence is, and will always be, their strongest shield.
