THE HIGH COST OF OVERPROTECTION AND CONTROL.
“I am not a helicopter parent; I am a drone parent. I know where you are, who you’re with, and what you’re doing — all without your knowledge.”
Parenthood is the most thrilling, exhausting, and emotional ride of your life, It is the most beautiful feeling one can experience. We strive for perfection in our parenting so that our children can learn life’s lessons with ease and become successful in every aspect. We want to be as perfect as we can. But does this really happen? Do our children absorb the same things we have imparted to them? Have we passed with distinction, or have we lost the plot?
To answer these questions, one must have a basic understanding of parenting and recognize the type of parent they are.
I agree that a child is like raw clay that needs to be shaped responsibly to grow into an ethical human being. To access one’s parenting’s style, it is essential to understand which category one falls into.
TYPE OF PARENTS:
Controlling Parents: These parents have complete control over their children. It’s as if they hold a remote control, and once a button is pressed, the children obey. If they don’t they face punishment.
Helicopter Parents: These parents always hover over their children. They never allow their child to do anything without supervision. They protect their child at all costs and never let them experience failure.
Avoider Parents: These parents avoid involvement and show little interest in their child’s development. Even when the child asks for advice, they take no responsibility in guiding them.
Balanced Parents: These parents set rules and explain the consequences of breaking them. They create a secure and safe environment where the child feels comfortable seeking advice and knows their parents are truly listening.
WHAT IS HELICOPTER PARENTING?:
There was an American mother who would go to school every day to give her daughter a pancake for lunch. She would sit with her and not leave until she finished her food. This example reflects how the mother is not allowing her child any independence — she is interfering or, rather, hovering over her. This is bizarre!
Helicopter parenting is a common phenomenon today. Parents hover over their children for the smallest things, make decisions on their behalf, and then later seek counseling to help their child become independent.
The phrase “helicopter parent” was first introduced in 1969. This term was later added to the dictionary in 2011.
The most interesting fact is about helicopter parenting is that it applies to all ages. When a child is about a toddler, such parents dictate their behavior and do not allow them to learn from their own experiences. When the child is in school, they select friends, academic stream, coaching classes and more.
ARE YOU A HELICOPTER PARENT?:
If you practice most of the following behaviors, you may fall into the category of helicopter parenting:
- You do your child’s academic work.
- You take excessive interest in their hobbies.
- You interfere with their teachers.
- Your life revolves around your child.
- You cannot let them experience failure.
- You keep your child on a tight leash.
- You clean your teenager’s room.
- Your self-worth is based on your child’s success.
- You constantly check on your child through text and calls.
EFFECTS ON A CHILD’S GROWTH:
We should not handicap our children by making their lives too easy. To succeed in life, they need to have their own own experiences. They should learn from their mistakes and correct them using their own judgment. They must take responsibility for their actions so they do not grow into adults who believe nothing is ever their fault. The effects of helicopter parenting on children can be severe.
- Decreased problem-solving skills.
- Negative self-image.
- Difficulty expressing emotions and opinions.
- Anxiety and depression.
- Failure to develop autonomous motivation. Increased dependence.
- Decreased trust.
- Poor communication skills.
- Reduced self-efficacy.
HOW DOES HELICOPTER PARENTING AFFECTS PARENTS?:
Indian parents are no strangers to hovering — whether it’s over textbooks, career choices, or even friendships. Helicopter parenting, fueled by fierce academic competition and societal expectations, turn parenthood into a high-stakes, full-time job. The result? Sleepless nights over board exams, endless coaching classes, and the emotional toll of micromanaging every step. While their intentions stem from love, the stress, anxiety, and exhaustion can be overwhelming. Ironically, this overprotection often leads to children struggling with independence.
Parenting isn’t about remote-controlling a child’s life — it’s about equipping them with wings to fly. After all, even helicopters need to land sometimes! Helicopter parenting not only impacts a child’s emotional and behavioral growth but also significantly affects parents. It increases the risk of stress, anxiety, and guilt. At times, parents become exhausted by their own overprotective behavior. This can lead to prolonged tension in the parent-child relationship. Additionally, it creates an expectation that the child will reciprocate the same emotions and support in the future. When these expectations are not met, parents often feel dissatisfied.
LET YOUR CHILDREN LEARN FROM THEIR OWN MISTAKES:
Overprotecting and overshadowing a child to the extent that they have no room to explore and experience life on their own’s harmful. Children do not need to be shielded from life’s challenge. Real protection means teaching them how to manage risks independently, not eliminating every hazard for them. This hovering behavior stunts their personal growth and development of essential life skills.
Instead of helicoptering over our kids, we should equip them with “parachutes” made of common sense, kindness, and courage — then teach them to jump. Doing so will help them become autonomous, help them become autonomous, confident, and competent, enabling them to make their own life decisions and shape their own world.
STATISTICAL DATA ON HELICOPTER PARENTING:
- 83% of parents exhibit helicopter parenting behavior, especially those with a single child, compared to those with multiple children.
- Among 100,000 college students surveyed: 84% felt overwhelmed with responsibilities. 60.5% felt sad. 57% felt lonely. 51% experienced anxiety. 4% committed suicide.
- Girls (13%) are typically subjected to helicopter parenting more than boys (5%) with mothers being the primary helicopter parents.
