I’m not sure what my response would have been if someone had instructed me to write down everything I was grateful. One thing I’ve learned through personal experience and as a certified grief counselor is that no one wants to be told how to grieve. I sat at my kitchen table and began a tally that would fill three pages of my journal.
- My sisters rushing to my side when they heard the news.
- A lapsed life-insurance policy that was reinstated just twenty-seven days later.
As a writer, journaling seemed the appropriate method of working through my grief. It was no surprise that writing would be part of my healing, but gratitude? I vaguely recalled a Bible verse about giving “thanks in all circumstances,’ but looking for things to be grateful for seemed a stretch so soon. Yet it was surprisingly easy to come up with a long list:
- Doors that had so recently opened up to me — workshops and a weekly writing column that meant extra income.
- The Christian radio station I’d begun listening to the month before, now playing songs that spoke directly to my wounded heart.
- The last book touched was about getting to heaven.
It was easy to pinpoint when a distinct shift had occurred. Instinctively, I’d chosen gratitude before i would learn that science proved the physical and emotional benefits of practicing gratitude in a strengthened immune system, lower blood pressure, and a more positive outlook. I discovered that the word itself derives from the Latin gratia, meaning grace or graciousness. This makes sense. It was through grace. Grace meant falling to my knees at the side of the bed.
I’ve filled seven more journals in that time. I could find something to be thankful for. The attitude of gratitude has served me well. I end the most mundane journal entries with a notation of something I can be thankful for. Sometimes, it’s as simple as a smile from a stranger in the grocery store, the fresh smell of approaching rain, or the splash of bright yellow on a green lawn.
Recently, I’ve journaled about my fast-approaching birthday ending in zero — the same one. I’ll chose to be grateful for the milestone.
After all, think of the alternative.
