If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.
The back seat is not a place I ever sought out — literally or figuratively. I loved being behind the wheel, enjoying the adrenaline rush while navigating unpredictable traffic. I was a control junkie in all the other areas of my life, too — the take-charge person who could sort out a situation and make things happen.
But that all changed abruptly when the career I loved ended with no notice. My world turned upside down. No longer did I oversee any people or projects. I was shattered.
When two part-time jobs came my way some months later, I was ready to take them one. One required some travel, including two road trips with co-workers. Each time we spent as much time in the car as we did at the events. While preparing for the trips, we talked about who would drive. It turns out that all three of us preferred to drive. Being the newest to the team, I felt it was expected of me to step back.
This was a new experience for me. Sounding more confident than I felt, I said I would leave the driving to them and sit in the back seat. Surprisingly, I found contentment there, as well as a new direction.
Not driving reinforced the fact that I was not in control. I did not have to focus on directions, road conditions, traffic or timing. I set up the entire back seat as my little kingdom. I had my thermal bag with my drinks, a book, my phone and charger, a blanket, sweater and assorted sundries.
Now I found myself in the position of a learner. I listen to the conversation in the front seat and picked up subtleties I might have missed if I had been driving. I wasn’t idle in the back seat. Instead, I was asking questions, seeking clarification, and learning to use new tools and get to know my traveling companions. By the time of the second trip, I was looking forward to riding in the back.
As I journeyed, I found that these trips gave me a framework for the next phase of my life. Most of my years of work had focused on creating, developing and leading various aspects of ministry and teams. I enjoyed that and found it was a good fit for my gifts, passions, and that stage of life.
My other part-time job did not require travel, but it placed me in a subordinate role to my co-workers. All but one were significantly younger than me. Many were on track for future promotions and career growth. Not me. My responsibility was to copy, scan, index, confirm appointments, make transactions, and assemble mailings. But it was good. I learned I no longer wanted or need to prove myself. I was content to do what I could to help my colleagues shine.
And changes were taking place in other areas besides in my employment. A weight came off my shoulders.
I learned the view from the back seat is beautiful. I am more aware of others and situations around me, I am not anxious to change that any time soon. If someone had told me years ago that I would find joy and fulfillment by stepping back I would have scoffed. Now, after a few years as a supporting player, I find it refreshing.
