Today’s ‘one and done’ parents feel single children can be just as sharing and caring as those with siblings, with a more independent streak.
If you are the parent of one child, chances are that your mom, your bua, and the old aunty who stays on the floor below have given you these warnings multiple times, urging you to plan a second one at the soonest. For the longest time, only children have had the bad reputation of being spoilt, selfish, and socially inept. This image persists despite the fact that multiple studies conducted since the 70s have found that the so-called Only Child Syndrome — a child who grows up without siblings is a self-centered loner — is a myth.
A growing number of urban couples are opting for ‘one and done’ rather than ‘hum do, humare do’, and parents of only children feel it’s time we dispel the long-standing stereotypes. Whether a child is spoilt or not depends on the parenting rather than the presence or absence of siblings.
Onlies do share:-
The notion that only kids have trouble sharing their toys is also not true. Wish that people would stop making presumptions about kids. “I am sure parents with two kids have to do the same.”
Parents have become “pretty savvy about raising their only children in ways that don’t spoil or isolate them.”
“He may be our only child but we never treat him like our lord and master. We are aware of the tag associated with single kids, so we have worked extra hard to ensure our child is not spoilt. His school reports always say he is helpful, takes cares of friends, and is a team player.” Being part of sports teams has helped.
Independent at heart:-
It is usually working moms who opt for a single child, and that growing up without siblings in a house where both parents are out for work makes the child independent and responsible from the start.
Parents of single children say another important advantage is that their kids will never be subject to comparisons and competition at home. It is not that only kids are perfect — they can be lonely or spoilt, but just as much as kids with siblings. “You may see a super-spoilt child with a sibling and a super-grounded only child or vice-versa. It just depends on the upbringing.”
Alone, not loners:-
There is an element of truth in people saying that it gets lonely for only kids. It can be nice to have a sibling to lean on when times are tough. This is perhaps the only downside to being an only child.
However, research has shown that onlies are not the loners they are made out to be; they have as many, if not more, friends as those with siblings. “Only kids are more forthcoming and social compared to those who have a companion at home.”
