Let me tell you the secret that has led to my goal. My strength lies solely on my tenacity — Louis Pasteur.
My dream in high school was to live in a big city and be an international marketing executive. After that, I would settle down with a wonderful husband and raise a family. I was a high achiever in high school and was well liked. The world was my oyster. Why couldn’t I have it all? If I had worked hard and stayed focused, it should work. Unfortunately, this dream was demolished in April of my senior year in high school.
April 16, 1978, was the first day I can remember after emerging from my fourteen-day coma. I had been hit by a car speeding at fifty miles per hour while I was crossing the street, I had two shattered legs, a broken pelvis and fractured skull. My eyes were skewed to the right — an indication of bleeding within the brain cavity and a severe coma.
My parents were worried that I might be paralyzed and spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. But the reality of the situation was far worse. My rating on the coma scale was a 4 on a 3-15 scale, with 3 being the worst. This meant that even if I survived, I could have permanent brain damage.
After being released from intensive care, I was moved to a regular hospital room. Even though I was now awake, my neurosurgeon did not give my parents much hope that I’d be able to do much more than take care of myself. Plus, I would probably have a permanent limp.
But at least I was awake, which meant it was a good day.
I stayed in the hospital for two months with my left in traction. Once my left femur had a long rod in it to hold it together, I only had breaks below my knee, so they let me out of the hospital with crutches. Whereas I hadn’t felt any pain when I was in traction due to the aftereffects of my coma, the real pain started when I tried to walk again.
Soon after I got out of the hospital in June, I was valedictorian at my high-school graduation, I hobbled onto the stage with my crutches and note cards and started my speech. “Always remember the simple things in life. Enjoy life.” “Everyone is alive. Always remember how good life is.”
I was scheduled to start at State University of New York in September of that year. When my tutor had come to the hospital so I could finish my English class and graduate from high school, she rated my overall cognition at the level of a twelve-year old. I looked normal, but my mind was in turmoil. There had been no therapy for my injured brain. I could pick up a book and verbalize the words, but I didn’t understand what they meant I was reading a book for an elementary-school student.
The old Carol (pre-coma) was kind, had a 3.97 GPA in high school, was never stressed, had a lot of friends, and was very focused. The new Carol (post-coma) was still nice, but was always stressed, got headaches, slept a lot, fought off depression, and found it hard to remain focused. My personality was different than it had been. Life had been turned upside down, and my old dreams were a thing of the past.
College was enormously difficult. I fought short-term memory deficits and cognitive issues all the way, but I eventually taught myself how to learn again. Graduate school was even harder, but I made it through with a lot of effort. Although my neurosurgeon had told my parents that I wouldn’t be able to go to college, I earned one bachelor’s degree and two master’s degrees. I beat the odds.
When I started working in San Franciso, I had earned my degrees, but I fell a bit short in knowing how to put it all together and work in a business where one had to respond rapidly. Everything wasn’t as organized as it had been in college, and this was the real world — a world in which I needed to figure out how excel.
Although my previously shattered legs left me with arthritis in my knees, I did not have a permanent limp. The greatest trouble, however, was with my memory. I was forgetting about many of the tasks I had been asked to complete. And even when I did remember to get some information from a given source, I’d forget what I had just learned ten minutes after I retrieved it. I felt the same as I had during my first year in college because I couldn’t seem to remember a thing.
Depression came back with the memory failure, but this time it was different. I was more in control now; I knew where I had to go and was closer to getting there, but I just didn’t know the route.
Over time, I came up with an effective method to recall and retain new information. At work, I carried a pen and pad with me whenever I went to speak with anyone on a business issue. If I wrote things down, I could remember what was discussed, I still do that today, and it works.
I have found that what I have been through sets me apart from others. I’ve experienced an awakening by way of a deep sleep. I don’t take things for granted, and I have learned that I can do just about anything I choose to do. My goals are realistic, yet high enough to motivate me to reach them. They are truly an essential part of me, of my life, for they are the means to furthering myself, to growing and learning and strengthening myself.
I’ve been successful in my career as a senior financial analyst, operations manager, and finance manager. After I met my husband, I no longer wanted to travel the world as an international marketing executive. But I didn’t give up on my dreams; I just altered them a little. Today, I work at a university and live in the East Bay area of San Franscisco with my husband and three teenage daughters.
I would be a different person today if my accident had never happened, and I’m thankful for what I have accomplished, and who I am. I have a wonderful family and a professional life. I’m proud of it. I discovered that even if your initial dreams are disrupted by something unexpected, success is still possible. NEVER GIVE UP YOUR DREAMS.
