A Pastor friend of mine jokingly says that one of the greatest enemies to marriage relationships is the thermostat. Many petty differences such as preference of air temperature have caused normally calm partners to blow up at one another in fits of rage. Each partner is so insistent about having his own way that he makes a mountain out of a molehill. Each may have a valid point that he wishes to discuss, but both lose all sense of reason when they feel that they are not being listened to. They have a driving compulsion to make the other person agree. Sound familiar?
It is utterly amazing to think of the number of the relationships that have been damaged beyond repair due to persistent squabbles over something as minor as the thermostat. Some people will argue for hours and not realize the destructiveness of it at all. And it is not just married couples who get bogged down in this type of feuding. Parents will argue endlessly with their children over small issues. Brothers and sisters are famous for fighting over such huge matters as who gets to sit in the front seat of the car. Many an office has been disrupted by individuals whose feelings are hurt because of a minor mistake, or because they did not get their way in some decision.
We have become a culture that trains people to think about entitlements. Cooperation is lost as an emphasis is place on a me-first approach to life. We are constantly being bombarded with television news about groups that are protesting about their rights being violated. Books have flooded the market to teach consumers to get what they want. We are a part of a generation that is determined to stand up and fight. As a whole, the human race seems to find it difficult to control the impulse to angrily confront every little aggravation that arises.
This need to fight first and think later can be called the near-sighted syndrome. It is the compulsion that comes over people when they lose perspective on their priorities in life. I already have mentioned that anger is not necessarily a wrong emotion. It is an emotional response that people have when they feel they have have been wronged. It represents the emotional need to stand up for ourselves and voice our convictions. But, as with most good things, it can be overused.
Our minor problems can be like a small stone. If we hold the stone directly in front of our eyes, it blocks our vision. If the stone is held at arm’s length, it can be examined for what it really is. If the stone is thrown onto the ground, in its true setting, it can be seen as a small bump underfoot.
It is easy to determine a person’s priorities by watching the things that cause him anger. People who are angry about matters such as being three minutes late for an appointment or having the house look a little unkempt are showing their true colors. Through the anger they are letting the world know that getting their way is their number-one priority. By contrasting this attitude with the anger of Jesus Christ, we can see a better set of priorities. The things that caused Jesus the most anger were self-righteousness (smugness) and blasphemy. This showed that his priorities centered around the love and redemption found in a relationship with God.
The vast majority of people in the world today are living without any well-defined personal goals. Some may have the goal of owning a nice house and making a lot of money. Others may have the goal of being popular and friendly. But beyond that, what is there? Surely there must be something more to live for than money and favor with people.
The question that has plagued philosophers for centuries is: “What is life?” From Day One humans have had the need to find meaning and purpose in life. If we were to examine closely the behaviors of most people we would find that they thrive on looking out for themselves. After all, that is what is at the core of human nature. Because each person has his own selfish commitment to get what he wants, even if it means other people are pushed aside, he is also capable of lots of anger. Anger is inevitable when there are billions of people looking out for themselves.
In order to put life in its proper perspective we need to understand what God has in mind for us. From the beginning of time God had one purpose for all people. We were created in order to have the privilege of having a relationship with God and knowing his love. I was taking about this concept once with a woman who stated that it seemed conceited that God would create us so that we could have the privilege of knowing him. Indeed, if God had sinful qualities this would laughable. But God is perfect. He is love. Therefore we can see his creation of the world as a loving gift he gives to mankind.
Those people who have chronic problems with destructive anger do not have a good grasp of this love that God has for them. When anyone becomes consumed with knowing an experiencing the love of God, the small irritants of his life will be much more tolerable. For you see, the more people experience God’s love, the more motivated they will be to pass it on to those around them. This is what God had in mind for us. This is why he created human relationships. By being loving to and understanding with one another, we can help each other to know the love of God in a tangible way.
How quickly we get our priorities out of line! Many people have an intellectual knowledge of the love of God, but it is something that use only on Sunday mornings. The rest of the week, they are concerned with meeting their selfish desires. They are afraid that if they do live a life that shows the love of God, they will be in such a minority that their lives will become “all give up and no get.” They are mistrustful of this lifestyle and they are afraid it might backfire.
We can easily spell out the traits found in people who suffer from this condition. We would find that the near-sighted syndrome:
- Is impatient, never seeking to understand.
- Is not kind, but mean and inconsiderate.
- Is jealous and possessive
- Is boastful and puffed up
- Acts in an ugly way and seeks only after self
- Is easily provoked and short tempered . Holds grudges and keeps detailed records of another’s wrongs.
- Is concerned when someone suffers an injustice.
To reverse the near-sighted syndrome, it is necessary to look at life from the big picture. In the big picture, you will find that all people are imperfect. All have a need for God’s love and forgiveness. Consequently, no person is any better than another. We are all the same. By viewing the big picture of life, most people will learn to humble themselves. They will realize they have no business making life harder than it already is for others. They will recognize that in order to tackle the problems life has to offer, we need team work. This can cause individuals to work hard on recognizing their responsibilities. People who look at the big picture of life will acknowledge five points:
- When problems arise, a calm head usually prevails.
- The more a person frets about a problem the worse it gets. Fretting is like scratching an insect bite.
- If someone does something he does not like, it was not necessarily mean as an insult.
- Even if another person does insult him, no one can make him controlled by a negative feeling.
- There is always hope unless one chooses to give up.
Two many people are living their lives without a well thought-out game plan. They haphazardly go along in life making off-the-reactions to problems that arise. Without any goal there is a good chance that they will meet with a great deal of frustration. There are absolutely no guarantees.
But through Christianity, we can devise an excellent game plan. The word perfect in this verse is better translated as “mature”. We are told to put ourselves into a maturing process, trying to live the love that is God. This is our goal.
