We are never truly alone.
Loneliness is perplexing and painful, but essentially it is an illusion, a mask created by the surface consciousness. Losing a ‘soulmate’ is unbearable if one doesn’t recognize the immortal spirit residing in all. This truth is our first step away from loneliness. It is illusory because, innately, we are divine and one with everything.
If you are lonely, you stand on a bridge between two worlds: one of lack and the other of plenitude. Lack creates a vacuum that can be assuaged if one adopts a conscious approach. Because of this, loneliness offers an ideal platform for the spiritual life. The Mother said, “Those who feel lonely in the world are ready for union with the Divine.” Somehow, the emptiness has to be filled.
Aloneness is generally regarded as something to be avoided. It is radical to consider it an opportunity. When alone, many will search for props. Generally, these episodes are used unwisely. We indulge our senses. We drink or eat too much. We interact on social media and generate virtual relationships to blot out the void. We switch on the television to create new images and noises. The distraction is viewed as a company: anything to expunge the nightmare. Anything but this silence. The prospect of sacrificing such accessories is considered unbearable.
The yearning for a company is embedded in us from the moment we are born. Then, gradually, we gel with the social fabric and become magnets for every conditioning, so much so, that we might interpret aloneness as a sign of inferiority. The hard mentality is what we must swim against. Isolation leads to further morbidities and creates self-pity, a sign of misplaced self-love. Instead of loving for the sake of loving, we erect so many conditions. We identify the ego as ourselves. We must continuously step back and disengage from the flux to discover our inner Friend and this is when we expand and grow. Seize this vibration if it visits you and offer it to the Light.
In Integral Yoga, every knot is an opportunity for growth. We absorb a simple truth: do not expect anything from anyone. Otherwise, you’ll wind up hurt. Attachment only festers loneliness. It comes when we slide onto the surface, far away from our ‘true home.’ We can only depend on what lies inside. The surface consciousness cannot process aloneness.
There is outer and inner loneliness. With outer, one constantly erects scaffolding to keep one’s life from falling apart. It is all the ego can manage makeshift reactions and piecemeal solutions. It is a common condition. It requires catastrophe to truly transform this affliction because it is only a reversal of awareness that will transform. Inner loneliness is ‘direr’. It may be precipitated by intense grieving, bereavement, or loss. The being craves attention and love. The past is often idealized and there is an aching chasm inside the heart. One might feel an intense ache and not know why. There is a remedy, “The inner loneliness can only be cured by the inner experience of union with the Divine; no human association can fill the void. “So, if you are in this state, take this as a sign that you are ready! It is now time to make your life divine.
